The thought of a "new beginning" always gets me excited. Even as a child, on Sunday nights I would write a list of things I wanted to change or do better on 'Monday'. Now as an adult, I am fully aware that you don't need a 'Monday' or a new year to break a habit, introduce a lifestyle change or try something new - but yet and still I look forward to the traditional end of one season and the beginning of a new one.
Of course, I plan to eat right, keep up with my exercise regimen, create more quality time with my family, perform well at work and continue to grow my fitness business, but I have something more for 2013 up my sleeve...or should I say...in my heart.
I learned a lot about myself this year. I found out and continue to find out what I'm truly made of when faced with adversity, who is truly in my corner and where I can go when I need to be spiritually re-charged. Now it is time to take my growth to the next level. In 2013 I will resolve to walk in love. It sounds so simple but in reality it is one of the toughest things for me to do on a regular basis.
Walking in love isn't a feeling. Walking in love isn't a negotiation tool. Walking in love is not based off of your circumstances or your emotions. Walking in love is a conscious decision to love EVERYONE - no matter what. I always thought it was enough to just not hate people but I was wrong. Walking in love requires you to think positive thoughts on purpose, put others needs ahead of yours on a consistent basis and forgive people who don't care that they offended you and could care less whether you forgive them or not.
This is difficult for me. I had always been a warrior for fairness. Everything had to be fair. When I was little I remember my mother having to warn me that if I said "that's not fair" one more time I was going to be on punishment. My mom is extremely patient so I must have really been working her nerves. But even as I got older - if you were mean to me I had no problem being mean to you but if you were nice to me then of course I had no problem extending kindness to you. The problem is --that's not how life works -- and I'm learning that in order for me to experience true peace and joy; I shouldn't work like that either.
Now that 2013 is less than one week away I am preparing to grow up even more. I will not treat people the way they treat me. I will not deal with people according to their past mistakes. I will not give people exactly what they deserve. God doesn't give me exactly what I deserve and the least I can do is try my best to return the favor. Here's to a New Year, a New Beginning, and a New Heart :-)
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Friday, September 14, 2012
What 30 Looked Like
In exactly one week from today I will turn 31. I have always been a "birthday" person and start counting down the days until my birthday sometime in the summer, but this year, I'm taking a look back. I set some lofty goals for myself on my 30th birthday and used a 'now or never' attitude to work toward my goals. I've shared my testimony several times on this blog so needless to say I wanted to use my 30th year on this earth to get back to some sort of normal, take better care of myself and start turning my dreams into reality.
I adopted a healthier and more active lifestyle, lost almost 50 pounds and started my own fitness company. Through my quiet time with God, the support and encouragement of loved ones and not allowing even an ounce of an excuse into my world, I drastically changed the way I live.
As I look back, I can truly say that I am extremely grateful and appreciative of everything I was able to accomplish this year. These thoughts, however, quickly turn into memories of people who didn't and will never know what 30 looked like. My cousin, who died of cancer at the age of 27, an old classmate who died in a car accident right after we graduated from high school, my first junior high "love" also died at the tender age of 25...they never got to see what 30 looked like. I am grateful for my life (the good and the bad) and thankful that I got to experience this past life-altering year.
Like I said, I have always enjoyed a big party celebrating my life and I have experienced so many blessings throughout my journey. With that being said, I have decided to spend my last week as a 30 year-old planning how I'm going to spend 31 celebrating the lives of others. It was important for me to take time to take good care of myself and say 'no' to certain things so that I could focus on me, but now I feel that it is time to use all of the lessons I learned, the strength I gained and the resources I have to serve others.
I will never forget the people in my life that didn't get to celebrate their 30th birthday, but what I can do is make sure that I use whatever time I am given to live my life 'on purpose'. Social media may need to quiet down, the television may need to be turned off a little earlier and texting may need to be replaced with more in-person conversations. I am so grateful that I got to see what 30 looked like, but I want to be able to FEEL 31.
I adopted a healthier and more active lifestyle, lost almost 50 pounds and started my own fitness company. Through my quiet time with God, the support and encouragement of loved ones and not allowing even an ounce of an excuse into my world, I drastically changed the way I live.
As I look back, I can truly say that I am extremely grateful and appreciative of everything I was able to accomplish this year. These thoughts, however, quickly turn into memories of people who didn't and will never know what 30 looked like. My cousin, who died of cancer at the age of 27, an old classmate who died in a car accident right after we graduated from high school, my first junior high "love" also died at the tender age of 25...they never got to see what 30 looked like. I am grateful for my life (the good and the bad) and thankful that I got to experience this past life-altering year.
Like I said, I have always enjoyed a big party celebrating my life and I have experienced so many blessings throughout my journey. With that being said, I have decided to spend my last week as a 30 year-old planning how I'm going to spend 31 celebrating the lives of others. It was important for me to take time to take good care of myself and say 'no' to certain things so that I could focus on me, but now I feel that it is time to use all of the lessons I learned, the strength I gained and the resources I have to serve others.
I will never forget the people in my life that didn't get to celebrate their 30th birthday, but what I can do is make sure that I use whatever time I am given to live my life 'on purpose'. Social media may need to quiet down, the television may need to be turned off a little earlier and texting may need to be replaced with more in-person conversations. I am so grateful that I got to see what 30 looked like, but I want to be able to FEEL 31.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Know Your Worth
I know when people look at the title they will first and foremost think about intimate relationships. While that definitely does apply, the concept of knowing your worth is so much bigger than that.
I grew up in a very loving family and my parents did a wonderful job of supporting and encouraging me in every aspect of my life. They were completely invested in my well-being and provided me with all of the tools I needed to face the world on my own. Of course I had butterflies in my stomach when we drove down Georgia Avenue in Washington, DC for the first time to start my adventure at Howard University - but I was ready. I faced the challenge of higher education and living somewhat on my own head-on.
It wasn't until my senior year at Howard, however, when the importance of self-worth was driven home. I remember calling my father excited about one of my first internships. "Daddy, I really like working with these people and I even got to show them some of the things I already know about the industry and I showed them some really cool things with the editing equipment!" While my father was happy to hear that I was excited, he definitely had a few words of advice for me. "Make sure that you are learning from them and getting everything you need out of the internship. You are not supposed to be teaching them - they are supposed to be teaching you."
I got off the phone a little deflated from the conversation until I really took the time to understand what he was saying. He had always instilled the importance of doing my best, being reliable and working hard - but he also wanted me to remember that the relationship should be going both ways and that I needed to make sure it was worth my time.
I never forgot that lesson - with that particular internship and beyond. You have to make sure you are getting what you need out of every relationship you have. It is not enough to give all of yourself only to end up completely exhausted with nothing to take away. I have applied that to every aspect of my life and the outcome has been remarkable. While you will definitely have disappointing moments and setbacks, they will always be easier to recover from if you know your worth. The absolute best thing about knowing your worth is the ability to show love and respect to others. When you know your worth it is easy to recognize the worth of others.
Are you getting everything you need out of your relationships? At work, with your friends and your mate? If not, remember that you are loved, your are special and most importantly, you are uniquely YOU. Thank you daddy for that conversation back in 2002. That wisdom has kept me grounded, focused, prepared and safe...no one will ever take advantage of your "Puddin"... no one.
I grew up in a very loving family and my parents did a wonderful job of supporting and encouraging me in every aspect of my life. They were completely invested in my well-being and provided me with all of the tools I needed to face the world on my own. Of course I had butterflies in my stomach when we drove down Georgia Avenue in Washington, DC for the first time to start my adventure at Howard University - but I was ready. I faced the challenge of higher education and living somewhat on my own head-on.
It wasn't until my senior year at Howard, however, when the importance of self-worth was driven home. I remember calling my father excited about one of my first internships. "Daddy, I really like working with these people and I even got to show them some of the things I already know about the industry and I showed them some really cool things with the editing equipment!" While my father was happy to hear that I was excited, he definitely had a few words of advice for me. "Make sure that you are learning from them and getting everything you need out of the internship. You are not supposed to be teaching them - they are supposed to be teaching you."
I got off the phone a little deflated from the conversation until I really took the time to understand what he was saying. He had always instilled the importance of doing my best, being reliable and working hard - but he also wanted me to remember that the relationship should be going both ways and that I needed to make sure it was worth my time.
I never forgot that lesson - with that particular internship and beyond. You have to make sure you are getting what you need out of every relationship you have. It is not enough to give all of yourself only to end up completely exhausted with nothing to take away. I have applied that to every aspect of my life and the outcome has been remarkable. While you will definitely have disappointing moments and setbacks, they will always be easier to recover from if you know your worth. The absolute best thing about knowing your worth is the ability to show love and respect to others. When you know your worth it is easy to recognize the worth of others.
Are you getting everything you need out of your relationships? At work, with your friends and your mate? If not, remember that you are loved, your are special and most importantly, you are uniquely YOU. Thank you daddy for that conversation back in 2002. That wisdom has kept me grounded, focused, prepared and safe...no one will ever take advantage of your "Puddin"... no one.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
A True Love Story
Today my parents are burying one of their best friends. When you think about it with the natural mind her story is just devastating. Plagued by a mental illness that runs in her family, my brother's Godmother suffered for over 20 years before passing away earlier this week. I know my parents are experiencing a great loss as they shared so many memories dating back to their college days with this woman. At first, I was praying for my parents and thanking God that I still had both of them. I was filled with such a strong feeling of appreciation when I heard God ask me..."but did you pay attention to the love story?"
See, my parents' friend married her husband right before they graduated from college in 1969. When the first episodes of her mental illness sprung up in the early 90s he was right by her side. They saw several doctors, overhauled their lifestyle and strategically prepared for their uncertain future. As her symptoms progressed and became seemingly unmanageable, her husband was left with no choice but to put her in a home surrounded by professionals. He was left to raise their three sons on his own while making sure they still had as much of a relationship with their mother as possible. He knew his wife was no longer in her right mind and that he would probably never get to spend time with the woman he married decades ago. Still, he never left her side, made sure she was always taken care of and handled every detail surrounding her life right up and through today as he hosts all her family and friends to say goodbye to her one last time.
Doesn't that sound a lot like God's love? No matter which way you turn, no matter what happens in your life, no matter if you are in your right mind or not...God is ALWAYS there to take care of you. He still sees about every detail in your life and no matter what you do...He NEVER leaves you. I was always told that marriage was the closest example of God's love we would ever have on earth but it wasn't until I thought about this particular marriage that I truly understood the point of that saying.
So today, as my family says goodbye to a remarkable woman who fought the good fight, I would like to wish an early Happy Valentine's Day to my true Valentine...a God that is not concerned with my current mental state, the way I look, or what I can do for Him...He loves me just to love me...and for that...I am thankful.
See, my parents' friend married her husband right before they graduated from college in 1969. When the first episodes of her mental illness sprung up in the early 90s he was right by her side. They saw several doctors, overhauled their lifestyle and strategically prepared for their uncertain future. As her symptoms progressed and became seemingly unmanageable, her husband was left with no choice but to put her in a home surrounded by professionals. He was left to raise their three sons on his own while making sure they still had as much of a relationship with their mother as possible. He knew his wife was no longer in her right mind and that he would probably never get to spend time with the woman he married decades ago. Still, he never left her side, made sure she was always taken care of and handled every detail surrounding her life right up and through today as he hosts all her family and friends to say goodbye to her one last time.
Doesn't that sound a lot like God's love? No matter which way you turn, no matter what happens in your life, no matter if you are in your right mind or not...God is ALWAYS there to take care of you. He still sees about every detail in your life and no matter what you do...He NEVER leaves you. I was always told that marriage was the closest example of God's love we would ever have on earth but it wasn't until I thought about this particular marriage that I truly understood the point of that saying.
So today, as my family says goodbye to a remarkable woman who fought the good fight, I would like to wish an early Happy Valentine's Day to my true Valentine...a God that is not concerned with my current mental state, the way I look, or what I can do for Him...He loves me just to love me...and for that...I am thankful.
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