Don't Look Both Ways!

Even though I have been driving my own car since I was 16 years old, the same man who taught me how to parallel park still takes every opportunity to let me know how I can improve my driving skills.  The last time my father came to visit he gave me some advice on my parking.  "You know Puddin', you only need to pay attention to one side when you're pulling in.  You either make sure you are okay on the right or you make sure you are okay on the left.  You don't need to pay attention to both sides.  If you are fine on one side then pull on in."  Ever since he told me that back in December I have become much more confident in my parking.  Like he advised, when I'm turning my wheel, I just pay attention to one side...if I'm fine on that one side...I pull the car on in.

Life is a lot like that.  When we try to pay attention to too many things at the same time we can end up all over the place and possibly crashing some things along the way.  If the goal is to move forward daily to get closer to our destination we better learn how to pay attention to one side and keep it moving.  If you are trying to advance in your career you need to keep your eyes on your projects and not look over at your co-worker who is always goofing off.  If you want to lose weight you already know that you need to keep your eyes off the cookies - the fruit is THE OTHER WAY.  If you are working to strengthen and maintain your marriage then it would be a great idea to keep your eyes on your mate and not on the people urging you to move on.  If you are working toward your financial freedom, why would you watch the home shopping network?  

It seems all so easy but we are also so very easily influenced.  There is no doubt that there are many times when the surprises of life catch us off guard and we have to change course, pick up the pieces and adjust our focus.  These times are guaranteed and when they come we have to face them head on.  I'm not writing about those times.  I'm talking about the times when you have made a decision.  The times where you not only map out your life in your head but also deep down in your spirit.  It is in those times that it is important that we pick a focal point and stick to it.  

If you have decided to go get your degree, why are you worried about people who waste all of their days away?  If you want to buy a house, why are you still looking at the apartments section on Craig's List?  If your goal is to be a better spouse or parent, why are you breaking your neck to attend all of the weekly Happy Hours?  Stay focused, stay encouraged, stay the course and most importantly - don't be double-minded.  Live your life with true peace.  Decide what you are going to do and do it.  Take the keys, get behind the wheel, put on your seat belt, look in the direction you want to go and pull on in!!

It's Mother's Day... but It's So Much More

Mother's Day means so many different things to so many different people.  Mother's Day can be a day of pure excitement filled with breakfasts in bed, gifts, phone calls and the ever-important social media post.  It can also be a day of mourning for people who have lost either their mother or their child.  It can also be a day of indifference for people who don't have a mom to celebrate and couldn't care less about a biological clock or any other kind of clock for that matter.  Just like many other days on the calendar, Mother's Day is what you make it.

I am blessed.   I have an amazing mother, one amazing grandmother still living and another amazing grandmother who has already gone to be with the Lord.  I also have a husband who has taken all of the kids somewhere to leave me alone to do whatever I want to do with both of my hands for the next several hours.  While I know that I have so much to be thankful for, I have also lived long enough to know that not everyone has the same story and that in everyone's life there is always room for improvement.  Mothers are known to go above and beyond everyday to make sure that the people entrusted to their care have everything they need.  These 24 hours are set aside to celebrate us, but I have another challenge for all of us out there.  What else can you give?  

I know... it sounds crazy and downright absurd to bring this up today but I'm going to press my luck.  Is there something else that you can give to your children, your life partners, yourself?  Do you spend so much time "producing" your digital life that your children always see you with your phone in your hands?  Is it time to finally write all of your goals down on a piece of paper and go for them?  Is there a vice that is keeping you from being in the best health of your life...that could ultimately keep you from your children later in life?  Is it time to face fear head on and "do it anyway?"  Only you know what you want out of your own life and the lives of your children.  Only you know what you have to give, what you have to give up and what you have to look in the face.  

I don't have to explain to any mother out there how important it is to "walk the walk" as opposed to "talk the talk."  Our children watch every single last one of our moves.  They will either mock or mimic it as they get older but they are definitely paying close attention.  What legacy do you want to leave to your babies?  If we look to other people to make this day special for us we will always be left just a tad bit disappointed.  Yeah he got the purse but it wasn't the right color, your best friend forgot to "tag" you when she was giving her Mother's Day shout-outs, they cooked dinner but you really wanted to go out, the kids are still fighting (don't they know it's Mother's Day?)  

So for the moms that are being celebrated, the ones that are still waiting and hoping to be celebrated, the ones that don't have a mom to celebrate, the ones that can't wait to be celebrated as a mom, and the ones that wish this day would just go away... make this day and every day a personal holiday.  Challenge yourself to look within, take inventory of what is working, what isn't working, what could work better and adjust accordingly.  We can all celebrate Mother's Day if we look at it as a day of self-care, self-nurturing and a day to give more of ourselves.  

I could go on and on about the benefits of changing your perspective...but I think I'm going to take a nap.  I am taking my own charge to make the most out of this day and everyday that follows and I encourage you to do the same.  Happy Mother's Day to us all...now get out there and enjoy it...or lay down...yeah I'm going to lay down.

It Will Be Okay!!

I learn so much from my kids.  Mostly when I'm not even trying.  The other morning, Drew was crying in her bassinet and immediately Darren said "mommy! Drew is crying!"  I said, "I know she is crying, I hear her.  It is okay, she can cry sometimes ... I will be right back."  No sooner than I could get the sentence out the next thought hit me like a ton of bricks.  That is exactly how God deals with us sometimes.  He sees us when we cry.  He can hear our moans and even feel our heart breaking...but it will be okay... He isn't going anywhere.

It is so important for us to remember this.  As I sit here and think about all of the situations that have brought me to tears, to feelings of despair and hopelessness it always ends up okay.  It never feels like it in the heat of the moment or sometimes not even weeks after...but in the end...it is always okay.

Drew had to cry it out a little bit while I got myself ready to feed her.  I love her (and all of my kids so much) that even though it pains me to hear her cry, I knew that if I didn't get situated she wasn't going to get what she needed.  I am her mother - I know best.  Sometimes God allows us to cry while He prepares what we need.  Yes, I could have stopped what I was doing to pick her up and hastily feed her which would have just frustrated both of us, or I could continue to get things in order so that I can feed her while being relaxed and so she can get a full meal without any rushing on my part.  I work everyday to give my children the very best.  That is the same way our heavenly father takes care of us.  If we have to cry a little bit so that He can gives us His very best; you better believe that He will let us cry.  When God does something, He does it fully, completely and without error.  I appreciate that kind of love and it is the kind of love that we all deserve.

Next time you feel yourself drowning in tears and doubting if you will ever get picked up out of the bassinet...remember that He hears you, He loves you and He is preparing His very best for you.  You will get picked up, you will get fed and you will eat a meal that has everything that you need.  He doesn't do it any other way.  That's real love...it will be okay!!