Monsters

How many monsters have you created? Have you made monsters out of your children, your close friends, your significant others? We all have the ability to do so. Realizing the power we hold in all of our relationships is half the battle. It gives us perspective and the opportunity to cool off and calm down after an unpleasant encounter with one of our self-made monsters.

We make monsters out of our children by saying one thing and doing another. "Do as I say and not as I do" has no place in a parenting relationship. You punish them for lying while they watch you tell the bill collector on the phone that you're not home. We then sit back helplessly and wonder what went wrong when we get called by teacher after teacher about our child's less than honorable behavior...that's our monster.

We can also create "big bad wolves" out of our partners. "He didn't act that way when we first started dating!" He sure didn't. In the beginning of your union he didn't have his shortcomings thrown in his face on a regular basis... and you also didn't talk so loosely about your disdain for his mother. That happened over time. A person's sensitivity, vulnerability and heartstrings are only up for the taking when they feel safe. Our constant obsession over the negative will make even the best of people grow fangs and start howling.

So do we just suck it up and live miserably with our monsters? NO...we realize the negative effects of our behavior and make changes. Just like we create monsters, we can reverse terrible patterns by gaining clarity. Deciding what we want from other people. If you want support; give support. If you want respect; give respect. If you want to make productive citizens out your children; show them how to do it. The monsters that lived under our beds when we were little eventually went away, but the monsters that walk through life with us only get bigger and harrier as time goes on.

Let's take spring cleaning to a whole new level and do some monster cleaning. Let's clean the closets, take out the trash, wash the clothes and pay special attention to what's under our beds. Are there any monsters? If so, make changes or show them the door. We don't have any room for them. Let's face it; they don't make good loved ones...and they don't pay any bills.