Buy Them Some Diapers!

There are times when we think life is unfair.  It is in these times that I think back to one of the most challenging times of my life.  I wanted to have another baby so bad and I had two miscarriages back to back.  I remember being in church one Sunday just praying and crying out to God.  There was someone in my life who already had several children and had just given birth to another baby.  I knew the ins and outs of her life and I just couldn't understand why she was having babies and I wasn't.  I remember bitterly saying to God, "She can't even take care of the kids she already has!  I'm married, both of us have full time jobs, we can afford this.  She can't even buy her baby some diapers!"  Just then, I heard God's voice as clear as ever.  He said, "well then buy them some diapers!"  What?  No, that couldn't be what I heard.  The more I tried to ignore what He was saying, the more He said it.  With all the confusion in the world, I went to the store, bought a big box of diapers and anonymously left them on her doorstep.

Shortly after that I suffered my most frightening miscarriage of them all.  I had an ectopic pregnancy that caused my left fallopian tube to burst.  It was then I realized that God didn't tell me to give her some diapers so that I could have a baby.  He told me to buy those diapers because He was interested in growing my character.  God loves us and wants to see his children happy but seeing us grow up is much more important.  While I was getting prepped for surgery (they had to go in and remove my left fallopian tube completely) I had another talk with God.  "Dear Lord, if it is not in your plan for me to have another baby will you please take the desire out of my heart?  Until then, I will be happy for everyone else and not worry about myself."

Five months later I found out I was pregnant with my son.  He is now four years old and more amazing than I could ever ask or think.  His sister was born 15 months ago and when I tell you that God showed up and showed out with His blessings...I mean it.

We will all face trials, tribulations and situations that we think are unfair.  Your cousin may have an amazing marriage while yours is under construction, your co-worker may get the promotion you were both after, your neighbor may have a brand new car while you're waiting to get yours out of the shop, your friend may be able to have Sunday dinner with her parents every week while you have to visit yours in the hospital, you may be in a season of hardship while everyone else around you is on a winning streak.  What do you do when these things are beyond your control?  You keep walking, put one foot in front of the other and get ready for YOUR blessing...and in the meantime...buy them some diapers!!!  God is faithful.