I learn so much from my kids. Mostly when I'm not even trying. The other morning, Drew was crying in her bassinet and immediately Darren said "mommy! Drew is crying!" I said, "I know she is crying, I hear her. It is okay, she can cry sometimes ... I will be right back." No sooner than I could get the sentence out the next thought hit me like a ton of bricks. That is exactly how God deals with us sometimes. He sees us when we cry. He can hear our moans and even feel our heart breaking...but it will be okay... He isn't going anywhere.
It is so important for us to remember this. As I sit here and think about all of the situations that have brought me to tears, to feelings of despair and hopelessness it always ends up okay. It never feels like it in the heat of the moment or sometimes not even weeks after...but in the end...it is always okay.
Drew had to cry it out a little bit while I got myself ready to feed her. I love her (and all of my kids so much) that even though it pains me to hear her cry, I knew that if I didn't get situated she wasn't going to get what she needed. I am her mother - I know best. Sometimes God allows us to cry while He prepares what we need. Yes, I could have stopped what I was doing to pick her up and hastily feed her which would have just frustrated both of us, or I could continue to get things in order so that I can feed her while being relaxed and so she can get a full meal without any rushing on my part. I work everyday to give my children the very best. That is the same way our heavenly father takes care of us. If we have to cry a little bit so that He can gives us His very best; you better believe that He will let us cry. When God does something, He does it fully, completely and without error. I appreciate that kind of love and it is the kind of love that we all deserve.
Next time you feel yourself drowning in tears and doubting if you will ever get picked up out of the bassinet...remember that He hears you, He loves you and He is preparing His very best for you. You will get picked up, you will get fed and you will eat a meal that has everything that you need. He doesn't do it any other way. That's real love...it will be okay!!
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Dear, Tristen / Love, Mommy
Dear Tristen,
It has been 12 years since you changed my life forever. I remember that Sunday evening in 2001 like it was yesterday. After a few scares and a rough start you quickly became the love of several people's lives. I wish you could have seen your dad almost get thrown out of the labor and delivery room. After telling two nurses and one doctor that they weren't doing their jobs right they started to lose their patience with him. Things haven't changed...even all the way back then he felt like he was the only one who knew how to take care of his baby girl.
We were only 19 years old when we found out you were on your way and had barely turned 20 when you entered our world. Your daddy always brags that he was the first person to hold you but I also remember the first time they put you in my arms. I had to have an emergency c-section because your heart rate was not where it should have been. Because of the medicine I was on and the medicine you were on, I couldn't hold you until you were almost 2 days old.
Your grandma (MaMa) was right next to me when they gave you to me. I was fine until you made a noise. As soon as you started wiggling too much and started making noises I handed you right off to MaMa. "Here, mama" is what I said. There was so much I didn't know and I knew she would know how to handle it. I say all that to say that I knew my mom had my back and I hope you know that I will always have yours. While I have to face the fact that we are staring your teenage years in the face, I also know that I probably only have one more year of you really listening to what I have to tell you for a long time. In honor of your birthday, I have thought of 12 things that I want you learn, remember, pray about, take to heart and LISTEN to.
1. Stay true to yourself. As we get older, we tend to doubt what we were taught, what we believe in, what makes us happy and what brings us peace. I am not saying that you shouldn't leave room to grow - but what I don't want you to do is change who you are based on what is cool, sounds good for the moment or what is easiest. You are a smart, good girl who loves the Lord. If you remember that - you will always be okay.
2. Never Settle. Your life and everything you have to offer is priceless, precious, special and uniquely yours. You can always demand the best because we have raised you to always try and give your best. Don't let anyone tell you what is good enough for you. You make the rules.
3. Take your time. Sometimes we get caught up in how crazy life can get and we think we have to do everything RIGHT NOW. That is simply not true. You don't have to make any moves until you have peace about what it is you want to do. If you feel rushed...it probably means you need to take even more time to figure things out.
4. Your education comes first. You have always worked hard in school and we expect that to continue. I know that before long (if not already) somebody you think is special will start to grab your attention. I definitely know what it feels like to have a serious school crush and they can be fun. Just remember that you can't list your crush on college applications and they can't help you secure your professional future...no matter how cute they are!
5. Don't sweat the small stuff. A lot of things that we let get us down as teenagers don't even matter as we get older. Hard homework assignments will eventually end and you might even forget the last name of the first guy who breaks your heart.
6. Being mean is not cute. Mean girls are just that...mean girls. Don't let them steal any of your joy. Trust me, I see it play out on Facebook everyday...the mean girls from school either end up seeing the light and becoming great people - or they stay mean girls and don't have anything to offer anyone anyway. Either way, you win.
7. You have what it takes. Don't ever doubt your strength. You can face any challenge put in front of you if you just believe in yourself. Even if you fail at the task at hand...you still have what it takes because you tried.
8. It is okay to make a mistake. I used to be so scared to make a mistake. I thought I had to be perfect to make sure the people that were supposed to love me kept loving me. Babygirl this couldn't be further from the truth. The people who are supposed to love you will NEVER stop loving you. I have definitely stumbled some through life but MaMa, G-Diddy and Uncle Shug have yet to give up on me. That is the exact same support system you have in all of us. We value everything about you and will always be here.
9. Tell the truth. It may not always be an easy thing to do, but telling the truth always works out better in the long run. Just think about how much MORE trouble you get in when you try to cover something up. The outcome is never good. Like I have always told you...I can only successfully go to bat for you if I have all the facts.
10. I am smarter than your friends. Even though it may seem like your friends have all the answers...they don't. They are the same age as you so that means that they know exactly what you know or even less. Don't believe the hype.
11. Don't get in the middle of other people's business. As Christians we are taught to care about the welfare of others; and we should. There is a difference between praying for someone or helping someone in need and being in the middle of he-said/she-said gossip. It is a waste of time and serves absolutely no purpose in your life.
12. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. As you know, I think you have the most beautiful hair, skin and shape any girl can have and I need you to BELIEVE that. But more importantly, you are beautiful inside and out. Your spirit is beautiful, your heart is beautiful, your mind is beautiful and your love is beautiful. You are my favorite person and I mean that. It is an honor to be your mother.
It is no secret that your father and I have a great relationship and have always put you first in every co-parenting decision that we make. But I think it is also fair to say that it has never been that hard because you are just so easy to love. Thank you for giving me the best years of my life. I am already so proud of you and I look forward to seeing your impact on the world. I am sure we will fight about clothes, grades, curfews and dating in the near future so keep this letter some place safe and pull it out whenever you need a quick reminder of what you mean to me.
Tristen Hayli Sanders...Happy Birthday!!
Love,
Mommy
It has been 12 years since you changed my life forever. I remember that Sunday evening in 2001 like it was yesterday. After a few scares and a rough start you quickly became the love of several people's lives. I wish you could have seen your dad almost get thrown out of the labor and delivery room. After telling two nurses and one doctor that they weren't doing their jobs right they started to lose their patience with him. Things haven't changed...even all the way back then he felt like he was the only one who knew how to take care of his baby girl.
We were only 19 years old when we found out you were on your way and had barely turned 20 when you entered our world. Your daddy always brags that he was the first person to hold you but I also remember the first time they put you in my arms. I had to have an emergency c-section because your heart rate was not where it should have been. Because of the medicine I was on and the medicine you were on, I couldn't hold you until you were almost 2 days old.
Your grandma (MaMa) was right next to me when they gave you to me. I was fine until you made a noise. As soon as you started wiggling too much and started making noises I handed you right off to MaMa. "Here, mama" is what I said. There was so much I didn't know and I knew she would know how to handle it. I say all that to say that I knew my mom had my back and I hope you know that I will always have yours. While I have to face the fact that we are staring your teenage years in the face, I also know that I probably only have one more year of you really listening to what I have to tell you for a long time. In honor of your birthday, I have thought of 12 things that I want you learn, remember, pray about, take to heart and LISTEN to.
1. Stay true to yourself. As we get older, we tend to doubt what we were taught, what we believe in, what makes us happy and what brings us peace. I am not saying that you shouldn't leave room to grow - but what I don't want you to do is change who you are based on what is cool, sounds good for the moment or what is easiest. You are a smart, good girl who loves the Lord. If you remember that - you will always be okay.
2. Never Settle. Your life and everything you have to offer is priceless, precious, special and uniquely yours. You can always demand the best because we have raised you to always try and give your best. Don't let anyone tell you what is good enough for you. You make the rules.
3. Take your time. Sometimes we get caught up in how crazy life can get and we think we have to do everything RIGHT NOW. That is simply not true. You don't have to make any moves until you have peace about what it is you want to do. If you feel rushed...it probably means you need to take even more time to figure things out.
4. Your education comes first. You have always worked hard in school and we expect that to continue. I know that before long (if not already) somebody you think is special will start to grab your attention. I definitely know what it feels like to have a serious school crush and they can be fun. Just remember that you can't list your crush on college applications and they can't help you secure your professional future...no matter how cute they are!
5. Don't sweat the small stuff. A lot of things that we let get us down as teenagers don't even matter as we get older. Hard homework assignments will eventually end and you might even forget the last name of the first guy who breaks your heart.
6. Being mean is not cute. Mean girls are just that...mean girls. Don't let them steal any of your joy. Trust me, I see it play out on Facebook everyday...the mean girls from school either end up seeing the light and becoming great people - or they stay mean girls and don't have anything to offer anyone anyway. Either way, you win.
7. You have what it takes. Don't ever doubt your strength. You can face any challenge put in front of you if you just believe in yourself. Even if you fail at the task at hand...you still have what it takes because you tried.
8. It is okay to make a mistake. I used to be so scared to make a mistake. I thought I had to be perfect to make sure the people that were supposed to love me kept loving me. Babygirl this couldn't be further from the truth. The people who are supposed to love you will NEVER stop loving you. I have definitely stumbled some through life but MaMa, G-Diddy and Uncle Shug have yet to give up on me. That is the exact same support system you have in all of us. We value everything about you and will always be here.
9. Tell the truth. It may not always be an easy thing to do, but telling the truth always works out better in the long run. Just think about how much MORE trouble you get in when you try to cover something up. The outcome is never good. Like I have always told you...I can only successfully go to bat for you if I have all the facts.
10. I am smarter than your friends. Even though it may seem like your friends have all the answers...they don't. They are the same age as you so that means that they know exactly what you know or even less. Don't believe the hype.
11. Don't get in the middle of other people's business. As Christians we are taught to care about the welfare of others; and we should. There is a difference between praying for someone or helping someone in need and being in the middle of he-said/she-said gossip. It is a waste of time and serves absolutely no purpose in your life.
12. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. As you know, I think you have the most beautiful hair, skin and shape any girl can have and I need you to BELIEVE that. But more importantly, you are beautiful inside and out. Your spirit is beautiful, your heart is beautiful, your mind is beautiful and your love is beautiful. You are my favorite person and I mean that. It is an honor to be your mother.
It is no secret that your father and I have a great relationship and have always put you first in every co-parenting decision that we make. But I think it is also fair to say that it has never been that hard because you are just so easy to love. Thank you for giving me the best years of my life. I am already so proud of you and I look forward to seeing your impact on the world. I am sure we will fight about clothes, grades, curfews and dating in the near future so keep this letter some place safe and pull it out whenever you need a quick reminder of what you mean to me.
Tristen Hayli Sanders...Happy Birthday!!
Love,
Mommy
Friday, January 25, 2013
It's MINE!
As I enter into the last couple of days of my 21-Day 'Daniel Fast' I am reflecting on what God has shown and said to me throughout this intense yet amazing experience. The one voice that keeps popping into my head is not that of God's but actually my 2 year-old son. His little but confident voice saying "It's mine!" keeps playing over and over in my head. My son says "it's mine" about any and every thing he wants. No matter how big or small or where it may be, if he wants it..."it's mine!" is the first thing out of his mouth. He will say "it's mine" about the food he sees on his sister's plate and the Walt Disney World commercial he sees on television. When he wants something...he already claims it as though it is his.
What if we lived life that way? I'm not talking about going around taking things that don't belong to us or thinking we don't have to work for anything, but about having so much faith in receiving God's best that we go ahead and claim it. My little boy may be on to something.
I may not jump up immediately and go to the store every time my son says "it's mine," but to be completely honest, if he says "it's mine" enough times, I will eventually remember that thing he wanted and get it for him. With my limited budget, limited resources and limited memory. The love that God has for us far surpasses the love that I have for my child and He has unlimited resources, He knows all things and He is the ultimate provider. If I am moved to give my baby boy what he has already claimed, why wouldn't God do the same thing for us?
We need to learn how to walk boldly through our lives and wake up everyday believing for the desires of our hearts. When my son gets out of bed in the morning, he walks up to me points toward the kitchen and says "waffles." Now granted, we need to work on his approach, but he has the right idea.
When he wakes up in the morning he expects to be fed, he expects to be well taken care of, and when he says "it's mine," he expects to have it. Sometimes he gets water when he wants juice but that is because I am his mother and I know when to give him what he wants and when to give him what he needs. When he gets thirsty enough, he ends up drinking the water and forgets all about the juice.
I am thankful for this close and intimate time I have been able to spend really listening, reading, praying and worshipping. It has been amazing. Sometimes my little boy will just run up to me and almost knock me down to give me a big hug and a kiss and say "I luh you mommy!" I see it as his way of thanking me for all those "it's mine!"s I have to hear throughout the day. So today, I say I love you God! Thank you for moving on the desires of my heart so quickly. Thank you for moving on the hearts of others to join me in this fast. Thank you for keeping me well nourished throughout this entire journey. I will continue to walk with You, talk with You and most importantly trust You. Our relationship means the most to me..."It's Mine!"
What if we lived life that way? I'm not talking about going around taking things that don't belong to us or thinking we don't have to work for anything, but about having so much faith in receiving God's best that we go ahead and claim it. My little boy may be on to something.
I may not jump up immediately and go to the store every time my son says "it's mine," but to be completely honest, if he says "it's mine" enough times, I will eventually remember that thing he wanted and get it for him. With my limited budget, limited resources and limited memory. The love that God has for us far surpasses the love that I have for my child and He has unlimited resources, He knows all things and He is the ultimate provider. If I am moved to give my baby boy what he has already claimed, why wouldn't God do the same thing for us?
We need to learn how to walk boldly through our lives and wake up everyday believing for the desires of our hearts. When my son gets out of bed in the morning, he walks up to me points toward the kitchen and says "waffles." Now granted, we need to work on his approach, but he has the right idea.
When he wakes up in the morning he expects to be fed, he expects to be well taken care of, and when he says "it's mine," he expects to have it. Sometimes he gets water when he wants juice but that is because I am his mother and I know when to give him what he wants and when to give him what he needs. When he gets thirsty enough, he ends up drinking the water and forgets all about the juice.
I am thankful for this close and intimate time I have been able to spend really listening, reading, praying and worshipping. It has been amazing. Sometimes my little boy will just run up to me and almost knock me down to give me a big hug and a kiss and say "I luh you mommy!" I see it as his way of thanking me for all those "it's mine!"s I have to hear throughout the day. So today, I say I love you God! Thank you for moving on the desires of my heart so quickly. Thank you for moving on the hearts of others to join me in this fast. Thank you for keeping me well nourished throughout this entire journey. I will continue to walk with You, talk with You and most importantly trust You. Our relationship means the most to me..."It's Mine!"
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
2013 - Let's Talk
The thought of a "new beginning" always gets me excited. Even as a child, on Sunday nights I would write a list of things I wanted to change or do better on 'Monday'. Now as an adult, I am fully aware that you don't need a 'Monday' or a new year to break a habit, introduce a lifestyle change or try something new - but yet and still I look forward to the traditional end of one season and the beginning of a new one.
Of course, I plan to eat right, keep up with my exercise regimen, create more quality time with my family, perform well at work and continue to grow my fitness business, but I have something more for 2013 up my sleeve...or should I say...in my heart.
I learned a lot about myself this year. I found out and continue to find out what I'm truly made of when faced with adversity, who is truly in my corner and where I can go when I need to be spiritually re-charged. Now it is time to take my growth to the next level. In 2013 I will resolve to walk in love. It sounds so simple but in reality it is one of the toughest things for me to do on a regular basis.
Walking in love isn't a feeling. Walking in love isn't a negotiation tool. Walking in love is not based off of your circumstances or your emotions. Walking in love is a conscious decision to love EVERYONE - no matter what. I always thought it was enough to just not hate people but I was wrong. Walking in love requires you to think positive thoughts on purpose, put others needs ahead of yours on a consistent basis and forgive people who don't care that they offended you and could care less whether you forgive them or not.
This is difficult for me. I had always been a warrior for fairness. Everything had to be fair. When I was little I remember my mother having to warn me that if I said "that's not fair" one more time I was going to be on punishment. My mom is extremely patient so I must have really been working her nerves. But even as I got older - if you were mean to me I had no problem being mean to you but if you were nice to me then of course I had no problem extending kindness to you. The problem is --that's not how life works -- and I'm learning that in order for me to experience true peace and joy; I shouldn't work like that either.
Now that 2013 is less than one week away I am preparing to grow up even more. I will not treat people the way they treat me. I will not deal with people according to their past mistakes. I will not give people exactly what they deserve. God doesn't give me exactly what I deserve and the least I can do is try my best to return the favor. Here's to a New Year, a New Beginning, and a New Heart :-)
Of course, I plan to eat right, keep up with my exercise regimen, create more quality time with my family, perform well at work and continue to grow my fitness business, but I have something more for 2013 up my sleeve...or should I say...in my heart.
I learned a lot about myself this year. I found out and continue to find out what I'm truly made of when faced with adversity, who is truly in my corner and where I can go when I need to be spiritually re-charged. Now it is time to take my growth to the next level. In 2013 I will resolve to walk in love. It sounds so simple but in reality it is one of the toughest things for me to do on a regular basis.
Walking in love isn't a feeling. Walking in love isn't a negotiation tool. Walking in love is not based off of your circumstances or your emotions. Walking in love is a conscious decision to love EVERYONE - no matter what. I always thought it was enough to just not hate people but I was wrong. Walking in love requires you to think positive thoughts on purpose, put others needs ahead of yours on a consistent basis and forgive people who don't care that they offended you and could care less whether you forgive them or not.
This is difficult for me. I had always been a warrior for fairness. Everything had to be fair. When I was little I remember my mother having to warn me that if I said "that's not fair" one more time I was going to be on punishment. My mom is extremely patient so I must have really been working her nerves. But even as I got older - if you were mean to me I had no problem being mean to you but if you were nice to me then of course I had no problem extending kindness to you. The problem is --that's not how life works -- and I'm learning that in order for me to experience true peace and joy; I shouldn't work like that either.
Now that 2013 is less than one week away I am preparing to grow up even more. I will not treat people the way they treat me. I will not deal with people according to their past mistakes. I will not give people exactly what they deserve. God doesn't give me exactly what I deserve and the least I can do is try my best to return the favor. Here's to a New Year, a New Beginning, and a New Heart :-)
Friday, September 14, 2012
What 30 Looked Like
In exactly one week from today I will turn 31. I have always been a "birthday" person and start counting down the days until my birthday sometime in the summer, but this year, I'm taking a look back. I set some lofty goals for myself on my 30th birthday and used a 'now or never' attitude to work toward my goals. I've shared my testimony several times on this blog so needless to say I wanted to use my 30th year on this earth to get back to some sort of normal, take better care of myself and start turning my dreams into reality.
I adopted a healthier and more active lifestyle, lost almost 50 pounds and started my own fitness company. Through my quiet time with God, the support and encouragement of loved ones and not allowing even an ounce of an excuse into my world, I drastically changed the way I live.
As I look back, I can truly say that I am extremely grateful and appreciative of everything I was able to accomplish this year. These thoughts, however, quickly turn into memories of people who didn't and will never know what 30 looked like. My cousin, who died of cancer at the age of 27, an old classmate who died in a car accident right after we graduated from high school, my first junior high "love" also died at the tender age of 25...they never got to see what 30 looked like. I am grateful for my life (the good and the bad) and thankful that I got to experience this past life-altering year.
Like I said, I have always enjoyed a big party celebrating my life and I have experienced so many blessings throughout my journey. With that being said, I have decided to spend my last week as a 30 year-old planning how I'm going to spend 31 celebrating the lives of others. It was important for me to take time to take good care of myself and say 'no' to certain things so that I could focus on me, but now I feel that it is time to use all of the lessons I learned, the strength I gained and the resources I have to serve others.
I will never forget the people in my life that didn't get to celebrate their 30th birthday, but what I can do is make sure that I use whatever time I am given to live my life 'on purpose'. Social media may need to quiet down, the television may need to be turned off a little earlier and texting may need to be replaced with more in-person conversations. I am so grateful that I got to see what 30 looked like, but I want to be able to FEEL 31.
I adopted a healthier and more active lifestyle, lost almost 50 pounds and started my own fitness company. Through my quiet time with God, the support and encouragement of loved ones and not allowing even an ounce of an excuse into my world, I drastically changed the way I live.
As I look back, I can truly say that I am extremely grateful and appreciative of everything I was able to accomplish this year. These thoughts, however, quickly turn into memories of people who didn't and will never know what 30 looked like. My cousin, who died of cancer at the age of 27, an old classmate who died in a car accident right after we graduated from high school, my first junior high "love" also died at the tender age of 25...they never got to see what 30 looked like. I am grateful for my life (the good and the bad) and thankful that I got to experience this past life-altering year.
Like I said, I have always enjoyed a big party celebrating my life and I have experienced so many blessings throughout my journey. With that being said, I have decided to spend my last week as a 30 year-old planning how I'm going to spend 31 celebrating the lives of others. It was important for me to take time to take good care of myself and say 'no' to certain things so that I could focus on me, but now I feel that it is time to use all of the lessons I learned, the strength I gained and the resources I have to serve others.
I will never forget the people in my life that didn't get to celebrate their 30th birthday, but what I can do is make sure that I use whatever time I am given to live my life 'on purpose'. Social media may need to quiet down, the television may need to be turned off a little earlier and texting may need to be replaced with more in-person conversations. I am so grateful that I got to see what 30 looked like, but I want to be able to FEEL 31.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Know Your Worth
I know when people look at the title they will first and foremost think about intimate relationships. While that definitely does apply, the concept of knowing your worth is so much bigger than that.
I grew up in a very loving family and my parents did a wonderful job of supporting and encouraging me in every aspect of my life. They were completely invested in my well-being and provided me with all of the tools I needed to face the world on my own. Of course I had butterflies in my stomach when we drove down Georgia Avenue in Washington, DC for the first time to start my adventure at Howard University - but I was ready. I faced the challenge of higher education and living somewhat on my own head-on.
It wasn't until my senior year at Howard, however, when the importance of self-worth was driven home. I remember calling my father excited about one of my first internships. "Daddy, I really like working with these people and I even got to show them some of the things I already know about the industry and I showed them some really cool things with the editing equipment!" While my father was happy to hear that I was excited, he definitely had a few words of advice for me. "Make sure that you are learning from them and getting everything you need out of the internship. You are not supposed to be teaching them - they are supposed to be teaching you."
I got off the phone a little deflated from the conversation until I really took the time to understand what he was saying. He had always instilled the importance of doing my best, being reliable and working hard - but he also wanted me to remember that the relationship should be going both ways and that I needed to make sure it was worth my time.
I never forgot that lesson - with that particular internship and beyond. You have to make sure you are getting what you need out of every relationship you have. It is not enough to give all of yourself only to end up completely exhausted with nothing to take away. I have applied that to every aspect of my life and the outcome has been remarkable. While you will definitely have disappointing moments and setbacks, they will always be easier to recover from if you know your worth. The absolute best thing about knowing your worth is the ability to show love and respect to others. When you know your worth it is easy to recognize the worth of others.
Are you getting everything you need out of your relationships? At work, with your friends and your mate? If not, remember that you are loved, your are special and most importantly, you are uniquely YOU. Thank you daddy for that conversation back in 2002. That wisdom has kept me grounded, focused, prepared and safe...no one will ever take advantage of your "Puddin"... no one.
I grew up in a very loving family and my parents did a wonderful job of supporting and encouraging me in every aspect of my life. They were completely invested in my well-being and provided me with all of the tools I needed to face the world on my own. Of course I had butterflies in my stomach when we drove down Georgia Avenue in Washington, DC for the first time to start my adventure at Howard University - but I was ready. I faced the challenge of higher education and living somewhat on my own head-on.
It wasn't until my senior year at Howard, however, when the importance of self-worth was driven home. I remember calling my father excited about one of my first internships. "Daddy, I really like working with these people and I even got to show them some of the things I already know about the industry and I showed them some really cool things with the editing equipment!" While my father was happy to hear that I was excited, he definitely had a few words of advice for me. "Make sure that you are learning from them and getting everything you need out of the internship. You are not supposed to be teaching them - they are supposed to be teaching you."
I got off the phone a little deflated from the conversation until I really took the time to understand what he was saying. He had always instilled the importance of doing my best, being reliable and working hard - but he also wanted me to remember that the relationship should be going both ways and that I needed to make sure it was worth my time.
I never forgot that lesson - with that particular internship and beyond. You have to make sure you are getting what you need out of every relationship you have. It is not enough to give all of yourself only to end up completely exhausted with nothing to take away. I have applied that to every aspect of my life and the outcome has been remarkable. While you will definitely have disappointing moments and setbacks, they will always be easier to recover from if you know your worth. The absolute best thing about knowing your worth is the ability to show love and respect to others. When you know your worth it is easy to recognize the worth of others.
Are you getting everything you need out of your relationships? At work, with your friends and your mate? If not, remember that you are loved, your are special and most importantly, you are uniquely YOU. Thank you daddy for that conversation back in 2002. That wisdom has kept me grounded, focused, prepared and safe...no one will ever take advantage of your "Puddin"... no one.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
A True Love Story
Today my parents are burying one of their best friends. When you think about it with the natural mind her story is just devastating. Plagued by a mental illness that runs in her family, my brother's Godmother suffered for over 20 years before passing away earlier this week. I know my parents are experiencing a great loss as they shared so many memories dating back to their college days with this woman. At first, I was praying for my parents and thanking God that I still had both of them. I was filled with such a strong feeling of appreciation when I heard God ask me..."but did you pay attention to the love story?"
See, my parents' friend married her husband right before they graduated from college in 1969. When the first episodes of her mental illness sprung up in the early 90s he was right by her side. They saw several doctors, overhauled their lifestyle and strategically prepared for their uncertain future. As her symptoms progressed and became seemingly unmanageable, her husband was left with no choice but to put her in a home surrounded by professionals. He was left to raise their three sons on his own while making sure they still had as much of a relationship with their mother as possible. He knew his wife was no longer in her right mind and that he would probably never get to spend time with the woman he married decades ago. Still, he never left her side, made sure she was always taken care of and handled every detail surrounding her life right up and through today as he hosts all her family and friends to say goodbye to her one last time.
Doesn't that sound a lot like God's love? No matter which way you turn, no matter what happens in your life, no matter if you are in your right mind or not...God is ALWAYS there to take care of you. He still sees about every detail in your life and no matter what you do...He NEVER leaves you. I was always told that marriage was the closest example of God's love we would ever have on earth but it wasn't until I thought about this particular marriage that I truly understood the point of that saying.
So today, as my family says goodbye to a remarkable woman who fought the good fight, I would like to wish an early Happy Valentine's Day to my true Valentine...a God that is not concerned with my current mental state, the way I look, or what I can do for Him...He loves me just to love me...and for that...I am thankful.
See, my parents' friend married her husband right before they graduated from college in 1969. When the first episodes of her mental illness sprung up in the early 90s he was right by her side. They saw several doctors, overhauled their lifestyle and strategically prepared for their uncertain future. As her symptoms progressed and became seemingly unmanageable, her husband was left with no choice but to put her in a home surrounded by professionals. He was left to raise their three sons on his own while making sure they still had as much of a relationship with their mother as possible. He knew his wife was no longer in her right mind and that he would probably never get to spend time with the woman he married decades ago. Still, he never left her side, made sure she was always taken care of and handled every detail surrounding her life right up and through today as he hosts all her family and friends to say goodbye to her one last time.
Doesn't that sound a lot like God's love? No matter which way you turn, no matter what happens in your life, no matter if you are in your right mind or not...God is ALWAYS there to take care of you. He still sees about every detail in your life and no matter what you do...He NEVER leaves you. I was always told that marriage was the closest example of God's love we would ever have on earth but it wasn't until I thought about this particular marriage that I truly understood the point of that saying.
So today, as my family says goodbye to a remarkable woman who fought the good fight, I would like to wish an early Happy Valentine's Day to my true Valentine...a God that is not concerned with my current mental state, the way I look, or what I can do for Him...He loves me just to love me...and for that...I am thankful.
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